Whiskey Lullaby
by ChipmunkFanatic
Summary: D/C Baised on the song by Brad Paisely. Unfortunately, you can't die of a broken heart... You just wish you could.
1. Gwen

Okay so this is my first TDI fic. It's based on the song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisly and is probably the sadest songs I've ever heard if you'd like to listen to it to get into the right mood (And I highly suggest you do) you can find it at youtube. I'm also very sorry if any of the characters are OOC but I tried my best :D So I hope you enjoy, and reveiws are always appreciated! Costructive critism is always welcome and Flames will be used for roasting hot-dogs so without further ado Whisky Lullaby by ChipmunkFanatic

XXX*Gwen*XXX

I stepped forward into the bright spotlight, up to the mic set before me. Trent was beside me, his guitar strapped around his shoulder. I sighed, as I looked out to the audience. I glanced at the table set in front. Bridgette was cuddled into Geoff while he put his arms around her for support. DJ looked like he was trying very hard to not start bawling, while Owen _was_ bawling. Everyone from the island was there, even Heather, who was twiddling her thumbs, and looking down at them guiltily. I also looked out to all the faces I didn't recognize. I sighed again. We were all here for the same reason. To honor two, both dear friends, and relatives, that were no longer with us. I took the mic into my hand and spoke. It came out in a squeak, but I calmed myself and tried again. "Hello, everyone," I started, "we are gathered here today to honor the memory of, Duncan Fletcher, and Courtney Williams." I tried to smile, but I felt it came out wrong.

So you're probably wondering why I'm here, up on stage, honoring two people I hardly talked to on the island, right? Well, it all started when I got back from the island, I found out that Trent lived relatively close. Only about an hour and a half away, without traffic. So, we'd get together quite often. We even started a sort of band, but that's beside the point. Now I never really knew or liked the bossy CIT, so you could imagine my surprise (if not annoyance) at the familiar face standing before me, in _my_ dorm room.

"Courtney!?" I asked, dropping my bags in surprise.

"Gwen!?" Courtney exclaimed mimicking my facial expression, of both surprise and displeasure.

I quickly picked my bags back up, and threw them on the bed not occupied by Courtney my, ugh, roommate.

I looked over at her bed already neatly made. She had a dull grey colored sheet and pillow. Yep, this was going to be interesting.

I unpacked quickly, before studying my schedule, trying to make as little eye contact with Courtney as possible. Maybe I could just get through this without having to talk to her much. I was getting some books ready for my first class, when the air was suddenly filled with Beethoven's 5th (don't ask how I know that). I raised an eyebrow, "interesting ring tone." I commented sarcastically, before I could stop myself. She smiled sheepishly (Whoa, didn't expect that.) before flipping open her cell.

"Hello?" She said, then paused. "Yes, I know." She answered. "I did too." Another pause. "Because they would cut off all my funds!" She groaned, like she was explaining it for the thousandth time. She sighed then, then replied, "calm down Duncan! I can take care of myself, and for the last time, I am not moving in with you!" I dropped whatever I was doing at the time. Duncan? Island Duncan? And what was this about moving in?! I looked at her surprise clear in my eyes, but her back was turned to me. "Okay, I'll see you tonight then." And with that, she snapped her cell shut and sighed, flopping face first onto her bed. She turned her head so she was facing me, irritation burned in her expression. When she saw my gaping mouth and wide eyes staring at her, she smiled sheepishly again, and got into a sitting position. "Your probably a little confused." She started.

I nodded, "a little."

"Well," she sighed, "it's a long story."

I shrugged, "I got time."

She nodded "It all started the day I stepped off that repulsive island. I found _no_ peace. Everyone was ether lecturing me or pressing me for details. I mean in between my dad's rants, my mom's speeches, and the constant pestering and teasing from everyone at school, all about, you guessed it, Duncan. It was driving me insane! But my parents, to save their social status, moved. But wherever we went, I kept getting recognized, and my parents wouldn't have that. We even moved to America! Which was, okay for a while since it hadn't aired there yet. But of course, it started airing and we moved yet again. By this time I was 18 and able to attend college. And here we are." She explained. I blinked.

"Sounds, tough." I sympathized. "But what about Duncan?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "Well," she started, feigning a smile. "Naturally, you meet a whole lot of people, when you move that much, and Duncan was no exception. After that we kept in touch through e-mail and phone calls. Despite my parents' objection." She shrugged. "And then, of course, when Duncan heard I was moving away for college, he wanted me to move in with him. But if I did my parents would cut off all my college funds. So, yeah." She finished.

I nodded slowly. "Okay, I _think_ I get it." I complied.

She smiled, "so what about you? What happened to you when you got back?"

"Well, mine's not quite as..." I paused, looking for the right word. "Eventful as you, but..." I explained everything, then we talked a little more before we both had to get to class. Overall I guess having Courtney for a roommate won't be so bad.

A few days later, we had a visitor, well more like intruder.

I was casually sitting on my bed, sketching Tren… I mean trees! Yeah, trees, in my notepad. Courtney was, of course studying. It was early evening, and the sun was just starting to set, sending an orange-pink blanket across the room. And Courtney and I were just about to head out to grab a bite to eat. Yep, everything was peaceful, tranquil and-"

My thoughts were interrupted when the door flew open to reveal none other than the skull shirted, green mowhawked, punk from the island.

Courtney's mouth dropped in surprise. "Duncan?" She exclaimed.

"No, Abraham Lincoln." He retorted.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?" She asked, standing up, hands on her hips.

"What? Can't a prince visit his princess once in a while?"

"Not without calling first!"

"Oh, come on I brought a present!" He then whipped out a single red rose from behind his back. How cliché is that?

She took it, examining it, then smiled. "What, only one?" She asked jokingly.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you to be thankful?" He joked back, flopping carelessly on her bed, sending papers flying everywhere.

"Duncan!" She groaned in irritation, trying to pick up the papers that fluttered down by her feet.

He chuckled. "How about I make it up to you with dinner for two?" He suggested. "And maybe after we could go to my apartment and…" He trailed off suggestively. I rolled my eyes same old Duncan.

Courtney rolled her eyes too. "In your dreams."

Duncan smirked. "Yeah, it does happen a lot there."

Courtney turned slightly red, and I suppressed a laugh. "Actually," she stated matter-of-factly. "Gwen and I were just about to go get something for dinner." She said gesturing to me.

He followed Courtney's hand then did a double take, eyes widening in surprise. "Gwen?!" He asked, almost falling off the bed.

I chuckled and Courtney rolled her eyes yet again. "Way to be observant, Duncan."

I saw Duncan glare at her out of the corner of his eye, then looked at me again, then Courtney then finally back at me, smiling "innocently." "You don't mind if I kidnap her for a few, hours, days, weeks?" He asked.

I stole a glance at Court. She was shaking her head franticly. I smiled back at Duncan. "Sure." He grinned.

"You heard her Princess!" Duncan said hoisting her over his shoulder. I had to keep myself from falling to the ground in laughter.

Courtney however didn't find it nearly as amusing. "Duncan, put me down!" She yelled pounding his back.

He just smirked. "Hey Gwen we should double sometime." Duncan suggested. "You could go with, Troy, err, Trevor, err what's-his-face!"

I rolled my eyes. "Trent." I corrected.

"Yeah, him."

I shrugged. "Can't, he's in New York, attending Julliard." I stated proud of my boyfriend.

He nodded. "Tell him 'good luck' for me, then." He said then turned and walked out the door, Courtney still in tow.

I got up and looked out the door. "Have fun!" I teased.

Courtney glared at me. "Thanks!" She said sarcastically.

I walked back inside, and sighed. Something about them made me wish Trent were here. I missed him like crazy. But I knew this was an opportunity he couldn't refuse. I mean he's always dreamed to be a guitarist, and I didn't want to hold him back.

After some hours of speculation, I decided to call him. It rang three times before he picked up. "Sup?" I rolled my eyes at his greeting, but his voice made me melt.

"Hi," I stated.

"Hey Gwen, and to what do I owe this pleasure?" He asked. I giggled.

"Nothing really, I was just missing you."

"Yeah, I miss you like you wouldn't believe!" He stated. I smiled.

"So you haven't met any girls prettier than me there, right?" I half joked.

"Even if I lived to be a thousand and searched the globe a thousand times over, I'd never find anyone nearly as beautiful as you." He assured.

I sighed in contentment. How was it fair I was so lucky? "Oh hey, sorry but I gotta go. Some friends and I are going to this big game tonight." He stated.

I nodded although he couldn't see me. "Alright, I'll talk to you later?"

"Most defiantly."

"Okay bye. Oh and Duncan says, 'Good luck!'" There was a paused, and I thought maybe he had hung up, but then he answered.

"Duncan?" I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be paranoid. Court's my roommate and he stopped by this afternoon."

"Oh, okay." He said, sounding relieved. "Well tell him 'thanks' for me. Love you, bye!"

"Bye." I said, hung up, then sighed. I really did miss him. The call helped but it just wasn't the same as actually seeing him. I then heard soft foot falls outside and my curiosity got the better of me, as I stood up to look out the peephole.

I smiled as I saw a familiar flash of electric green. I strained my ears to listen.

"Admit it." I heard Duncan's voice.

"It _was_ pretty nice." I heard Courtney respond.

"_Pretty_ nice?" He questioned.

"Fine, it was _very_ nice."

"Only _very_?"

Courtney sighed. "Okay, it was the best day ever. Wonderful! Amazing! Happy?"

"Only w-"

She groaned in agitation, but it turned into a laugh. She wrapped her arms around his neck smiling. "It was utterly fantastic." She said in a serious tone, her face soft.

"Now, that's more like it." He grinned.

I smiled looking at the two, through the peephole. Okay so it wasn't the best view but it was good enough. "But, why the sudden change?" She asked suddenly. "I mean, we usually go somewhere more casual. And that dinner must have cost a fortune!"

His face fell, and he looked down at the ground. "Well," he started, and Courtney sighed. "I'm going to be away for a while." He stated.

Courtney's eyes widened and she blinked. "Why?" She asked in confusion.

"My bro's got himself into some trouble and needs a little help. So I'm going back to Ontario, tomorrow."

"Oh. It's, not going to be, dangerous. Is it?" She asked worry clear in her voice.

He smirked half-heartedly. "Didn't know you cared."

She brought up a hand to caress his cheek. "I do care."

He sighed. "A little." He said finally answering her question. "But it's nothing I haven't done before."

"Oh, that's comforting." She responded sarcastically, but then her face softened again. "Just, be careful."

"Don't worry, I will. I've never had someone who actually cared, waiting for me to get back."

"Can I at least call to check up on you once in a while or something?"

He sighed again. "It'd be… " He paused. "Safer, for you not to." Her face fell slightly. "But, I will call from the airport tonight, okay." He said, kissing her forehead.

She nodded, and he turned to leave. "Oh, and Duncan," she called. He stopped. "Please, don't do anything illegal!" She begged, exasperated. I craned my neck to see his response.

He turned his head and smirked at her. "Sorry Princess, no promises." He said then resumed walking.

She sighed leaning against the doorframe, and I ran back to my bed sitting as casually as I could, just as she unlocked the door. "Oh, hey Court!" I said feigning casualty.

She sighed, then met my eyes. "Did you hear that?" She asked.

"I looked down at my sketch pad with new interest, and replied; "nope, didn't hear a thing!" Ah, stupid! Trent must be wearing off on me. Although Courtney didn't seem to notice, as she quickly walked into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Phew, dogged a bullet there.

Months flew by and everything was well. Courtney turned out to be a great roommate. She would listen when I need to talk or rant about something, keep her distance if I wanted to be left alone, we even shared some tips on... various things. And became better friends than I ever thought possible. We did have our fare share of fights though, but I guess that just comes with living in the same dorm. But in a nutshell, Courtney was an amazing friend and roommate. Which is why when she came back in tears, I rushed to her side. "Court! What's wrong?" I asked my eyes wide in worry. She didn't answer she just ran to her bed and got in the fatal position hugging her pillow tightly. I rubbed her back as her sobs rocked her body. Oh yeah, somebody's butt was getting kicked.

"Courtney, what happened?" I said in almost a whisper. She mumbled something through her pillow, but she was still crying, making it even harder to hear. I did, however make out five simple words, that made a lot of sense considering. "Duncan," "Justin," "too different," and "Heather." I ground my teeth at the last one. Anything that had Heather in the mix was sure to be at least a little evil. I stood, walking to the door, I was going to find that evil, backstabbing little witch, if it was the last thing I did!

I got back from the unsuccessful Heather hunt, to find Courtney staring blankly at a textbook. Her eyes were clouded and unfocused, so I knew she wasn't really seeing anything. "Court?" I said sitting down next to her. She jerked a little but didn't respond. "Courtney?" I asked taking her shoulders and shaking her slightly. She dropped the book but other than that didn't move. "It's going to be okay." I assured her, taking her into a hug.

That night I called Trent. I need some advice and support. It rang twice before he picked up. "Gwen?" He asked. Ahh, just the sound of his voice comforted me. I smiled half-heartedly.

"Hey." I stated.

I guess he knew something was up, since he replied with, "what's wrong?"

From there I filled him in on everything. Of course he came to visit whenever he had a break from school but I needed him now. "I'll be there as soon as I can." He assured me. Good old Trent.

"Thank you," I said simply, although I wish I could have said so much more.

The next day was a Saturday, thank goodness. I glanced at the clock. 12:34, I read, then groaning I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I looked across the room at Courtney. She was lying there motionless; I walked over half scared she had done something drastic last night. I peeked at her face, her eyes were open, again staring blankly, seeing nothing. I sighed, "hey, Court I'm going out for a bit okay?" I told her, grabbing my coat. She still didn't respond. I sighed again, before opening the door and stepping out. I had to find out what exactly happened.

There I stood at the door of Duncan's apartment. I rang the doorbell and waited. Nothing. I tried again. Still nothing. I finally decided to try knocking. I knocked briskly, and the door creaked open. I peeked inside. Now from the little I knew about Duncan, I had prepared for a lot of different things. But not this. Not this.

Glass, broken everywhere. Chairs, tables, walls, trashed! Broken, smashed to pieces. But the thing that stood out most of all, was the strong smell of… Alcohol?! Beer bottles scattered all across the floor. I took a few steps inside cringing at the odor. I walked over to one of the bedrooms, peeking inside, scared of what I'd find. It looked no different from the rest of the apartment, but no one was inside, I breathed a sigh of slight relief and searched the rest of the apartment. No Duncan. And I had no idea where to find him. Then I got an idea.

I made my way quickly back to my car, and sped back to the campus, I walked inside the room, and was pained to see that Courtney still had not moved. But I had come back for a reason. I hurried over to my bed and pulled out an old box. I opened it and searched through an assortment of various things, before I found it. I pulled out the piece of paper, grabbed my phone and made my way back into the deserted hallway. I scanned the paper carefully, then dialed. It rang four times before someone picked up. "Hello?" I heard the familiar voice say, but it wasn't the one I had expected. I blinked but quickly replied.

"Umm, hi Geoff, this is Gwen, is Bridgette there?" There was a pause.

"Gwen? Yeah, sure Bridge is here. One sec." I waited as Geoff, put Bridgette on.

"Gwen?" I smiled, remembering one of the only sane people from the island.

"Bridgette? Yeah, this is Gwen." I replied. "Okay, so I know you guys are busy and everything, but Courtney needs you right now. Is there anyway you guys could come down?" I asked in a rush. There was a long pause.

"Umm, I think so," She said, I sighed in relief. "Hey, Geoff? Are we doing anything this week?" I heard Bridgette ask.

"Nah, I don't think so why?" I heard him reply. Ah, same old laid back Geoff.

"I'll explain later." She said, before returning to me. "Yeah, We'll get down there as soon as we can." She paused, "is Courtney?" She said, trailing off. I shook my head though, they couldn't see it.

"No, she's still relatively okay. But I don't know if..." It was my turn to trail off this time.

"Okay, we should be down there Monday." Bridgette assured. I silently thanked Bridgette for the lack of questions.

"Okay, I'll see you then." I said, before hanging up. The line went dead, and I walked back into the room. I smiled when I saw Courtney, in a sitting position. She was holding something, staring at it intently, but her eyes were beginning to tear up. I quickly put the paper back in the box and pushed it back under my bed. Then went over to see what Courtney was looking at. I situated myself, so I could see without disturbing Courtney, who was oblivious to me being there. I sighed; it was an old picture of all of us at the end of the show. But I could tell Courtney only had eyes for one particular person in the picture. I had the same picture but never really looked at anyone else much, just Trent and I. But even I teared up a bit at the picture now. Duncan and Courtney were both to the right side of the picture. Duncan had his arms wrapped around Courtney's waist from behind, looking at her fondly. While Courtney, looked at him with a playful look of irritation.

"I've got to find him." I was startled when Courtney suddenly rose, setting the picture on her bedside table.

"What?" I asked surprised, but happy to see a spark of determination back in her eyes.

"I need to find him." She repeated. "This is all my fault and I need to make it right again."

I smiled, "I checked his apartment, he's not there." I said leaving out the details. "And Trent, Geoff, and Bridgette are coming up for a visit, Monday."

She smiled slightly. "Good, they can help us look."

So with that we searched. Monday came and Bridgette, Geoff, and Trent joined in the hunt. We checked every bar, club, and hotel. But we always seemed to miss him. In a way Courtney was back to normal, yet it also seemed she was missing something. She almost never smiled, except for those slight ones, just to make us feel better. She started getting B's and C's instead of her usual A+ and didn't seem to care. But as the week wore on I was starting to lose hope. Bridgette, Geoff, and Trent all had to get back. And we were again left alone. We still went out searching every night but I could tell Courtney was slowly slipping back into her depressed state.

It was a Thursday in the dead of winter when we got the call that sealed her fate. I set the phone back on the receiver. I turned to Courtney. How was I going to do this? "Courtney?" I said in a whimper.

She turned to me with wide worried eyes. "Who was it?"

"Police." I stated simply. "Something's happened," I paused, "to Duncan..."

We were at the hotel in a flash. I pushed the door open carefully, gasped, then covered my mouth with my hand looking away. I could feel my eyes tearing up, as the image now burned into my brain stung. It took a few moments to regain my composure, but if I was reacting like this how could Courtney be reacting? I took a side-glance at her. She had fallen to her knees, her head was bent down so her hair covered her face, but I could hear her agonized cries. I bent down to hug her, taking her into my arms, as her tears, rocked her body. "Courtney." I said trying to calm her. We sat like that for a few more minutes. Until, call me sick, I wanted a closer look. I don't know why, but I did. As I looked I felt nausea build up in the pit of my stomach. I've seen my fare share of slasher flicks, but seeing and experiencing are two very different things.

I walked up slowly, and as I proceeded I could smell alcohol again. I made my way to the side of the bed. I cringed, as I saw the dark red stains on the pillow, and the cold black item on the ground that had done the job. But then something caught my eye. I picked up the small piece of folded paper, off the bedside table. I unfolded it carefully and read it. It was simple yet, oddly heartbreakingly sweet. I tucked it into my pocket and went back to comfort Courtney, who at the moment was having difficulty breathing.

We got back, changed and got ready for bed even though both of us knew that nether of us would be sleeping that night. I took this moment to hand Courtney the paper I had found. Although after I did I wasn't sure I should have. She started shaking again. Tears streaming down her face. Just looking at her hurt deeply. "It was all my fault!" She screamed through her tears. "He can't be gone!" She sobbed. "He can't." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I loved him." I wanted to say something. I wanted to say something that would make everything better. Make all this go away. But I couldn't.

A week later we all attended the funeral, we all shed tears, but, Courtney, who just stood in the corner never saying a word, just staring straight ahead. I saw out of the corner of my eyes a couple gesturing to her with less than kind looks, and a quiet hiss escaped my lips. Now this may sound cliché, but we buried him under a weeping willow, it seemed appropriate.

Through the next few days Courtney fell back into depression. She'd never smile; listen to music, or even talk. She would hand back blank tests and never take notes or study. All she'd do is sit on her bed and stare at nothing. I once found her crying, and clutching the skull he had given her. No one could snap her out of it. So I thought maybe what they said was true. 'Only time can heal a broken heart.'" I hoped, and whished, but, sadly I was wrong.

Now just like everything rumors were everywhere. 'Suicide' some said. 'Drunk' others thought, but only a select few knew the truth. 'Heartbreak'

It had been two years and Courtney was still not the same and getting worse. Most nights, I'd wake up to her screaming in her sleep. Others, she wouldn't sleep. I worried deeply about both her mental and physical health. Which is why I started panicking and calling the police when I came back to an empty room.

"She's about 5'4 with brown hair, onyx eyes, and a dark complexion." I said over the phone. It was 1:00am and she still hadn't come home or even called. "Honestly, no I don't think she's mentally stable." I told them, it pained me to say it but it was true.

Just then the door creaked open and I whipped around. "Courtney!" I yelled. "Cancel that." I said quickly into the phone, before rushing over to Courtney. "Court, Court, are you okay?" I asked.

She nodded. "I'm fine! Have a cow!" She said and stumbled to the bed lying down and clutching the pillow. Now this would have been okay, if it was _her_ bed.

I walked over to her, "Court, that's my bed." I informed her.

She groaned and waved a hand in the air signaling me to go away. I sighed, and walked over to Courtney's bed. Sitting down I looked at her. She wasn't herself, although what was herself? I wasn't so sure anymore, but at least she was talking again.

The next morning she was gone again. I of course started to panic. I got up quickly, grabbing my coat and was about to rush out to find her when. I heard the toilet flush. I turned and the door opened, Courtney stumbled out, with a hand on her head, groaning. I shut the door, and she flinched. "Ugh, not so loud." She complained. "I have a migraine." She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. I nodded.

She sat down on _her_ rightful bed this time and put her face in her hands. I walked up and sat next to her. "Courtney?" I started. She grunted in return. "What happened last night? Where did you go?"

"Why should you care!" She snapped whipping her head up to glare at me, but she soon realized that was a mistake, since she groaned in pain.

I cringed. "Court, your breath smells horrible!" I said pinching my nose.

"You're so uptight!" She spat.

"This coming from the queen of uptightness!" I snapped back.

"That was before..." She stopped herself, but I saw the pain flash across her face. "It's just, none of your business, okay?" She finished.

I sighed. "Courtney, it's been two years." I said placing a hand on her shoulder. She jerked away.

"I'm going out." She said simply, getting up and walking out.

I sat there staring at the door. "Oh, Courtney." I said in sympathy.

Another two months flew by, and every night Courtney would come back later and later, sometimes not at all. But every time she did, the smell of whiskey and beer on her was almost unbearable. She'd of course deny she had done anything of the sort but the slurred speech and the hangovers, kind of gave her away.

It was a Sunday exactly three years after Duncan's suicide. I got home late that day because my boss wanted me to work the night shift. I had just gotten back when I heard a quiet but distinct laughter. It was happy yet sad at the same time. And I broke into a run. I banged on the door. "Courtney!" I called. I heard the laughter again. "Courtney, what are you doing!" I was frantic now.

She giggled. "Going to see Duncan."

I gasped. "Courtney do not move!" I yelled, fumbling around in my purse trying to find my keys. When I did I jammed them into the lock. But I was too late. I froze as I heard the gunshot. "No," I slowly twisted the keys in the lock and heard the 'click' I carefully pushed the door open. Gasping, dropping anything and everything I was holding, my eyes started to tear.

There she was lying on the bed. Her lifeless body. I couldn't breath I couldn't feel anything. "Courtney?" I said through tears, hoping in vain that she may still be alive. I stepped closer. Her eyes were closed, her lips set into a content smile. I followed her hand dangling from the bed and saw the item that had killed two of my friends, and cursed it silently in my head. I then followed her other arm, and sighed. In her other hand was the skull. There was also the same picture from the island laid by her head. "Oh, Courtney. Why?"

The funeral was just like Duncan's. In fact we buried her right next to him, beneath that same willow. I stared at her now flower covered grave and sighed. Trent put his arm around me, in comfort. I smiled at him, but then frowned. "I don't understand." I whispered. "She still had so much life in her."

Trent looked at me smiling slightly. "Maybe she was more dead than we realized." He told me. I nodded. "You want a minute?" He asked. I nodded again. He gave me one last hug, before turning, and walking away. I watched him go, and sighed longingly.

I looked back, but was so surprised I stumbled back a few paces. Duncan peeked out from behind the willow like he was looking for something, then walked out into the open. He wasn't wearing his normal apparel. No, instead he was wearing all white, shirt and pants. Then he stopped and focused on something across the field, his gaze hard. I followed his stare, and had to take a few steps back again. Courtney walked out from behind the small house on the other side of the field, wearing an all white dress that came down to her ankles. I stared at them; both of their faces were blank, showing no emotion what so ever. Then Duncan gave his infamous smirk. I looked back over at Courtney who was smiling now too. Then they both broke into a run closing those few yards that separated them. Duncan picked Courtney up in a hug swinging her around a few times, before setting her down and pressing their noses together, both smiling contently. His arms were resting around her waist where they belonged, and Courtney's arms were wrapped perfectly around his neck. Then Courtney stood up on her tiptoes, pressing their lips together. I smiled feeling my eyes start to water again. Then I blinked and they were gone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you ready?" Trent's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at him with slightly teary eyes, but wiped them away, and nodded. He smiled with sympathy at me, then turned back to the audience, as he started strumming the guitar.

_Trent:_

_She put him out _

_Like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette  
She broke his heart _

_He spent his whole life tryin' to forget  
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time  
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind  
Until the night..._

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away her memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees  
They found him with his face down in the pillow  
With a note that said "I'll love her 'till I die"  
And when we buried him beneath the willow  
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Lalalalalalala, Lalalalalalala

Lalalalalalala, Lalalalalalala

Gwen:

_The rumors flew _

_But nobody know how much she blamed herself  
For years and years _

_She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath  
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time  
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind  
Until the night..._

_Both:  
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away his memory  
Life is short but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees  
We found her with her face down in the pillow  
Clinging to his picture for dear life  
We laid her next to him beneath the willow  
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

Lalalalalalala, Lalalalalalala

_Lalalalalalala, Lalalalalalala_

_Lalalalalalala, Lalalalalalala_

_Lalalalalalala, Lalalalalalala_

**Let the world stop turning,  
****Let the sun stop burning,  
Let them tell me love's not worth going through.  
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart,  
The only dream that mattered had come true  
...In this life I was loved by you.  
~ by Bette Midler ~**

**

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**Okay so I hope you enjoyed it and also hope you will concider reveiwing since this took me about 3 weeks to write and I had to listen to and watch the video about 80 times. Oh and I know I was vaugh about why Duncan comited suicide but it was sapposed to be like that let you minds wonder (That part was NOT baised on the video) so I hope you all had fun and thank you for your time I hope it didn't seem TOO rushed since I sort of felt it was but anyways thanks and see ya next time!


	2. Heather

**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island bacause if I did it'd be WAY too mushy **

**Ok so I was going to wait for a little bit before I posted this or even wrote this but I sat down this morning and the words just started flowing so feel luck! since I usually don't write all in one sitting :D I hope you like it I think it's a little rushed but it'll have to do. ****Oh and EVERYONE who reveiwed or faved I LOVE YOU GUYS! Your the reason I get up in the morning! U GUYS ROCK! **

XXX*Heather*XXX

Sigh. I didn't mean for it to go this far. I never meant... Sigh. I looked up at Gwen and Trent singing their hearts out up on stage. This never would have happened if it weren't for me. I looked then, to Justin sitting next to me. His face was hard, cold. And if I had paid attention in drama class mine should mirror his. I stole a quick glance at my hand, flexing my fingers, to make sure they hadn't burned to ash by now. They hadn't. Finally, I felt a hot pressure behind my eyes, and I couldn't take it. I stood and left. Just walked out the back door into the garden. Sighing, I took a seat on the porch swing, clutching my hand. It had never been the same since... The incident. But, i-i-it just wasn't fair! I mean she had been just as cruel and bossy as me on the island! And yet she walks away with friends, a boyfriend, fans, AND a full head of hair! It just wasn't fair! I mean what did she have that I didn't? Maybe a better question is; what did she have that I wanted? Sigh. Maybe I should start from the beginning? Well, it all started on my first day of college...

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"Humph! Stupid people! Stupid island! Stupid EVERYTHING!" I ranted. I'd just gotten off a newly made TDI site, and needless to say I was NOT happy. "Stupid un-grateful little-!" I didn't know why I did this to myself. I mean I knew that any and all TDI sites always had something about me. 'Heather's such a witch!' or 'Heather should have gotten kicked off first!' and 'Heather should just drop dead!' I was used to being loved and admired for my wealth, grace, and overall beauty. But that had changed as soon as the first episode aired. My parents could've cared less... No wait, no they couldn't have. They never really cared about me, all they did was hand me a stack of bills and shoo me off. But I had gotten used to that. Soon enough though, they sent me off to college. And here's where it gets interesting.

I entered my new room, setting my stuff down on the bed. Luckily, my parents had been able to bribe this place so I could get my own room. I set up all my stuff then decided since I didn't have class for another two hours, I could relax a bit. So I grabbed a bottle of fruit juice from the mini fridge and sat on my bed, turning on the plasma screen. Here's what I saw;

"Hello, Canada!" The all too chipper news reporter said. "I'm sure many, if not all of you remember the phenomenal television reality show, Total Drama Island!" I rolled my eyes. "It's been two years since the contestants have left the island, and now for many of them it's time to face the horror that is college. We're here asking people on the street, who their favorites are;" the news woman stated, smiling way too brightly.

She walked up to a girl with blond pigtails. "Hey there," she started.

The girl smiled, "hi." She said waving shyly.

"So, who's your favorite TDI character?" She asked.

The girl's smile widened. "Courtney!" She chirped happily. "She's so awesome!"

The reporter nodded, "I agree." She then turned around to another girl, more teenage looking. "And you?" She asked.

The girl tapped her chin in thought for a moment. "Well, Geoff's totally cute, but I've gotta say, Courtney too. She was just _so cute_ with Duncan!" She squealed. I scoffed puhh-leeze!

Next she walked up to a boy with shaggy brown hair. "And how about you?" She asked cocking her head to the side. The boy raised his eyebrows as if to say; 'you've got to be kidding me.'

"Well," he shrugged then. "I'm not sure who my _favorite _is but I know my _least_ favorite." He said grinning wickedly. I did not like where this was going. "Anyone remember, Heather?" He asked, voice dripping with venom. The two other girls joined the shot then, both nodding vigorously.

"She was such an evil witch!" The teenage girl said.

The blond one nodded. "Oh, I know! They should never have let her on the show in the first place!" The other two nodded in agreement.

Even the reporter nodded! "Well, I guess it's unanimous."

By now I was glaring at the TV with a passion. I finally turned it off, shaking with rage. "How dare they!" I yelled. "And _Courtney_!?" It was stupid! Why her! I mean she was almost as cruel as I was and yet they _love_ her! I ground my teeth, clenching my fist, not realizing I was still holding my fruit juice, until it was too late. The bottle cracked cutting my hand slightly, and drenching my bedding. I cursed under my breath as I rushed to the bathroom. I washed and bandaged my hand. Then grabbed my sheets and ripped them off my bed, muttering curses under my breath again, but this time about Courtney. She had it all! And that's where I promised myself; that she wouldn't for much longer.

A couple weeks later, I was no longer concerned about school. I was too consumed with rage, and I wasn't even sure why, but all I wanted was for Courtney to hurt. And I _always_ got what I wanted. I had spent the last few days researching on where Courtney was attending college. Ivy league. Of course! Then made plans to go "_visit"_ her. All I needed now was a plan. A plan to make her life miserable, but first I had to find where exactly the blow would hurt the most. Parents? Friends? Social status? I wasn't sure. But I was going to find out.

The plane landed without delay, and I quickly made my way to her _Ivy League college_ and put on my most sincere smile, as I talked to the man at the front desk. "Hello," I started, my voice oozing sugar. "I'm here to see Courtney Williams. She's an old friend of mine." I told him.

He nodded obliviously and pointed me in the right direction. I thanked him, then quickly walked down the hall, up some stairs then down another hall. Once I got to her room, I glanced about to make sure there were no witnesses, before taking out a special device and pressing it against the door, so I could hear better. Then, I listened.

"You worry too much Court, he'll be fine." I heard a voice say. It sounded oddly familiar, but I couldn't place it. "Duncan's a big boy, he can take care of himself."

"I know, but I just can't help it, if anything happened to him, I don't know what I'd do!" I heard Courtney state. Duncan! Of course. A blow to the heart is the most fatal. I could practically hear the 'click' in my head as my plan started taking shape. But if only I knew now what I didn't then; that the fatality was much more literal than I had ever dreamed.

I was now in the apartment I had rented, looking through my list of contacts. Searching for someone that would work. Some of them I dismissed immediately since it wouldn't be believable enough. I thought of just highering an actor, but that'd be difficult. Finally, I stopped, staring at a number, name, and face; I thought I'd never see again. _Perfect._ I pressed call and it rang five times before he picked up. "Hello?" I heard his velvet voice say. Oh, this was going to be too easy.

"Hey, remember me? It's Heather, you know from the island. I have a _favor_ to ask. I can pay handsomely."

There was a pause. "I'm listening."

Now all I needed was some dirt on Courtney, something good, that she'd never want _anyone_ to know. I stalked her around for a good few months, trying to find something she'd be ashamed of. Just as I was about to just give up, and Photoshop something, it happened. It was Saturday, and she went for a drive, of course I followed. She ended up going to this large, mansion like house, just outside of town. She walked up to the door and pulled out some keys, unlocking it. I watched intently, at the open window in the front. The curtains were closed but I could see the silhouettes and hear clearly, using the same device I had at her dorm. "Mom?" I heard her yell. "I'm home!" I saw her walk into the living room. Then another silhouette about twice her size entered too. I heard Courtney start stuttering then. "Wh-wh-where's mom?" She asked.

"She had to go to work on an emergency." He informed her, with his deep tenor voice.

"O-o-o-oh" She stuttered. "I guess I'll just come back later then." She said, starting for the door, but he interrupted her.

"What's this I hear about you missing your violin lesson?" He said his voice hard.

Courtney froze, and even thought I could only see her silhouette, I saw her start to shake. "I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry, I forgot, it was a mistake." She said in a rush.

"You were the mistake!"

I had to look away then, cringing at the sickening noises that ensued. But none the less the rage inside me was still burning I had to keep going I had come too far to quit now. When the noises had ceased I looked back up.

"Get out!" I heard the man yell.

The doorknob jiggled and the door flew open, Courtney rushing to get outside, and as soon as she was the door slammed shut behind her. Courtney looked awful. Her clothes were slightly tattered, her hair was a mess, and she was bruised and cut in a multitude of places. Wow, I never would have guessed. She stumbled toward her car, acting fast I took this opportunity to make myself known. "Courtney? My God what happened to you?!" I asked feigning surprise and worry.

She whipped around. "Heather?!" She asked looking terrified.

I nodded and covered my mouth with my hand. "Did your parents do this to you?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No!" She denied, a little too fast. But when I didn't back down, she sighed, wincing as she tried to bite her lip. "Only my dad, and only when my mom's not around and he's drunk." She admitted solemnly.

"Oh Courtney, we need to report this!" I announced.

Her eyes widened in horror. "No! My dad will only blame it on my mom, then find me afterwards! You can't tell anyone!" She pleaded.

"But Courtney, this is illegal!" I told her, like I cared if it was legal or not.

She shook her head. "No, please! Don't tell anyone! I'll do anything you want!" _Perfect._ She was playing right into my hands.

"Well," I said, "there is this one small thing." She looked instantly unsure. "You look worried." I stated. She looked up at me with the same expression. I laughed. "Oh, don't worry all I need you to do is help me with this little... _Skit,_ I'm doing for my drama class." I explained.

"That's all?" She asked. Yes! I was in.

"That's all." I assured her. "Just meet me in the music room on the main floor of your building. And we'll rehearse there." I said, feigning innocence.

She sighed. "When?"

Everything was set and I was happy as a clam. It was now Friday, and I was walking down to Courtney's building, Justin riding shotgun. "Ready?" I asked. He nodded. And we entered the building. We walked down the hall past the desk then turned the corner, and entered the music room. Courtney was already there sitting on the piano bench, looking nervous. She looked up when we opened the door and glared at me.

"What's _he_ doing here?" She asked venomously.

I sighed. "He's my... assistant." I said. She crossed her arms, the glare not leaving her eyes. "Courtney," I groaned, "people change." She just raised an eyebrow.

I sighed again. "He's here to help me with the skit." I tried to persuade. She seemed to buy that, for now. I handed her the script. It was a simple about 5 minutes. It was about, of course, a girl who was already married yet was in love with another. It was so easy it almost wasn't fun. Almost. I had decided to call it "Too Different" for, obvious reasons.

She then looked up at me confused. "There are only two parts what about you?" She asked.

"I had to write a skit for drama class, and have two people perform it, but I wasn't sure if it was any good or not since it's two different things to see it being preformed, and writing it!" I lied.

"So, you're just going to watch?" She asked incredulously. I nodded. She didn't say anything, just turned back to the script. She turned the page and stopped eyes widening. She looked back at me glaring with intensity. "It says I have to _kiss_ someone!" She snapped.

"It's just a stage kiss, not for real." I assured her but she turned to walk out the door. "Oh, that's too bad," I stated, taking my phone out of my pocket. "I guess I'll just have to settle for getting another criminal in jail." I said, an edge in my voice.

She stopped, her hand on the doorknob, sighing in defeat. "Not for real?"

I smiled deviously. "Not for real."

After we ran through it a few times, Courtney was starting to ease up, and was doing it more fluently. Which played out nicely. Just then my watch started to beep, almost silently, and I quickly hit the 'off' button. It was time to put my plan into action. "Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Why don't you guys go through it one more time, without the script to make sure you've got it, and I'll be right back." Courtney nodded. Oblivious.

I walked into the hallway, sitting down at a bench on the side of the hall, and waited for a couple minutes, and like clockwork the front door opened. I grinned. The green haired punk, made his way into the hall past the front desk (The man who worked there was on lunch break. It was almost unfair how perfect it was.), and was about to go up the stairs to Courtney's room. That's when I spoke up. "If you're looking for Courtney, I just saw her in the music room." I informed. He turned to look at me, and I noticed he looked oddly... Nervous? But nonetheless he nodded and changed course. He must not have recognized me. Then I just sat back and waited.

Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Right on time, Duncan stormed back around the corner and towards the main door. My grin widened. Just before he exited he stuck his hand in his pocket, taking something out and throwing it with such force against the wall, that it made a small dent. Then broke into a run, out the door, into the pouring rain.

I looked back at the corner just as Courtney skidded around it and came dashing down the hallway. "Duncan! Please wait!" She yelled. Bursting through the front door. She looked around franticly, "Duncan!" a few more moments went by and she re-entered the building, drenched from head to toe. She was staring at the ground, tears falling like the rain outside. She stopped when she noticed the small thing, Duncan had 'dropped' and picked it up. Her back was to me so I couldn't see what it was. Suddenly she dropped it backing away slowly then, like Duncan broke into a run but in the opposite direction, up the stairs, her hands covering her face.

My curiosity was officially peaked. As I walked over to the small thing still on the ground. I stooped to pick it up. It was a box. And I raised an eyebrow. What was so special about a box? I opened it, and my grin fell into a frown, my heart skipped a beat, and my eyes widened considerably.

It was a ring. And not just any ring. An engagement ring. It was beautiful. Three diamonds, one large, and two smaller ones set at ether side of the larger one. It sparkled and glittered, even in the faint light.

"Good work partner." I stiffened, and turned slowly. Justin was smiling deviously at me. I plastered on a fake grin too, although it was harder than usual. He then eyed the box. "What's that?" He asked I handed it to him working with all my might not to tremble. He took it, looking it over quickly. Then shrugged. "So much for that." He handed it back to me, then turned and walked out the door. I wondered then was his heart truly that hard? Was I being a hypocrite for thinking that? What would happen now? I looked back down at the ring then noticed something else. It was sown onto the silk lining of the box. It read;

_Despite everything you put me through I'm head over heels in love with you._

That's when it happened. My hand suddenly started to burn. But it wasn't just any pain. Pain is simple; it has a simple remedy, a simple way to stop the pain. But what I was feeling wasn't pain; it was agony. I immediately dropped the box, clutching my hand, but the pain would not cease. I ran to the bathroom and ran it under cold water but it didn't do anything. Was this karma? God getting back at me? A Spell or magic curse? Regret? Guilt? I didn't know. All I knew was that I had never felt worse pain in my entire life!

Back at my apartment nothing would help, ice, medicine, creams. They did nothing! The pain was unbearable, and I thought more than once of just cutting off my hand, but I would chicken out every time.

Months later, The pain did not ease, but I got used to it more. It was a constant distraction, but it didn't anger me. I thought of it more as punishment. And as that it felt good. It was winter now, a Thursday, when it happened. I was watching the 11 o'clock news, and this story came on:

"Tonight a tragedy has happened. Duncan Fletcher. One of the stars from the popular reality show 'Total Drama Island' was found dead in a hotel room. There is no idea as to how or why this happened. But witnesses sa..."

I turned off the television in a flash, panting hard, as the pain in my hand escalated, if that was even possible. Clutching it, I screamed in agony.

Years, two to be exact, later. My hand's burning, had been muted (It was still there, but not nearly as bad as before.). The muting started about two months ago, and I was thankful for the slight ease, but still hoped for the day it would be back to normal. I had tried to see Courtney to apologize, but every time I went she was ether gone or Gwen would yell at me to go away. I never even knew they were friends. The news was on again. And I was sitting on the couch, with a cup of coffee. I froze as a picture of Courtney flashed on the screen.

"Exactly two years after the death of reality TV star Duncan Fletcher, Courtney Williams, his alleged lover, has followed suite. She was found in her dormitory dead, killed in the same way as..."

I turned it off again, it was just like before, and now the pain in my hand would kill me too. I killed them and now God will exact revenge! I stared at my hand but nothing happened. It didn't go away but it didn't get worse. Slowly, cautiously, I flexed it. It felt the same, and I sighed in relief. Not saying I didn't deserve for the pain to kill me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard an engine rumble to life. I realized I had been crying, and wiped the tears away. I looked up at the weeping willow in front of me, and the two graves that lay beneath it. I sighed, and walked over to them. I fell to my knees in front of them, as tears clouded my vision. "I'm _so_ sorry." I whispered. "I'm _so_ sorry" I repeated. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and gasped, almost falling back. "C-C-C-Courtney!" I stuttered.

She smiled, and then slowly she kneeled down beside me. She then, took my hand, placing it palm up on top of hers, then ever so gently, she placed her other hand palm down on mine. Instantly the pain was gone! I was amazed. No, not that ghost had just appeared before me, or that, the same ghost just healed my hand. But that Courtney had forgiven me. I had never really been forgiven before and the feeling was incredible. I looked then at Courtney's hands around mine, and smiled. There resting around her finger was the ring. I bit my lip and started to tear up. Then suddenly Courtney turned her head to look at something behind her. I gasped again, and had to blink to make sure I was seeing this right. Duncan, was leaning carelessly against his own tombstone, eyes closed, arms crossed, smiling contently. Courtney released my hand then, and stood. Duncan, eyes open, supporting himself now, took Courtney's hand, then winked at me. I smiled, blinked, and they were gone.

I wasn't sure what I was feeling then; I was happy, yet wanted to burst into tears of sadness. I valued my life more than ever, yet wanted to die. But looking back on that day I realized something. The pain I felt was not Karma, God, a spell, regret, or even guilt. But a fraction of the pain Courtney felt, channeled into my hand. It feels great now, better than ever. And in that I am happy.

**When the power of love, overcomes the love the power the world will be at peace.**

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**Ok there it is :D I feel pretty proud of it myself but I'm not sure about it so if you do like please reveiw! construtive critism is always welcome and flames will be used for making smo'res :D I would also like to say that, that quote on the inside of that bax was by ACharismaticBreeze so I don't have ANY ownership of it that's all her/him Oh and that quote at the end was said by my friend, err told to me by my friend. I have no idea where she got it *Shrugs* AND GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT!?!?! COURTNEY'S COMING BACK! FOR REAL! go to (CakeEntertainment(dot)com) then Total Drama Action then to the digital flyer then the 2nd and 3rd pages!!!! But please REVEIW! **


	3. When Thoughts Arise

**Disclaimer: I do not own TDI/TDA or anything related to it, if I did would I be here on FANFICTION?**

**Okay guys,** **now I was positive (Well sorta) that I was going to keep it a two-shot (And one-shot before that) but I got this idea when I was playing on my guitar and singing (Which is probably why I get Trent on personality quizes A LOT) Whiskey lullaby and thought this was a sad yet poetic chapter idea, now before you prepair for my usual long chapter, I have to warn you it's REALLY SHORT! Since I figured if I were commiting suicide half-drunk, I wouldn't be thinking about my life story. So sorry for any disappointment I bring on, but hey one more chapter right? Hope you like it and THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT! Especially, you TrippleJ Thanks SO much, for everything!**

XXX*Duncan*XXX

My mind is clouded, and I can't think straight. But, that may be the reason I can think at all. You know, most people say it's idiotic to drink away your pain, but I'd bet you a million bucks, they've never felt like this.

Sigh. I don't even, really know how I got here. How it came to _this._ It was all a blur. A painful, agonizing blur. Like getting hit by a car. I regretted everything, or, I should. I should feel that it was all a waste! That, _she, _was a waste. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to hate her. I couldn't make myself regret meeting her. Because, despite everything she puts me through I'm head over heels in love with... I flinched. Sighing, I took another swig of whiskey, and chuckled without humor. If only she knew.

Unfortunately, you can't die of a broken heart... You only wish you could.

So, here I am in a hotel room, funny I'd always pictured myself dying peacefully. Well, I guess this is as peacefully as I can get now. I sat down my bottle on the bedside table. Then, taking a pen in my shaky hand, I wrote down my last words.

Finally, I took the item that would seal my fate to my head.

I hope you're happy. I hope you're always happy. And, I'm so, sorry, I just wasn't good enough.

**You're the one who broke my heart,  
****You're the reason my world fell apart,  
****You're the one who made me cry,  
****Yet, I'm still in love with you and I don't know why.

* * *

**

XXX*Courtney*XXX

Why? A simple question right? So, it should have a simple answer. So, why is my, 'why' so complicated? I groaned, downing the last of my, _last _bottle of whiskey. Whatever happened to happily ever after? Whatever happened to fairy tales? I let the empty bottle fall to the floor, and reached for my purse, pulling out the very same thing that killed...

I stopped myself. Then, it hit me. After this, it would all go away! All this pain, all my suffering, would be, _gone!_ Suddenly, overcome with happiness, I laughed. It wasn't the same laugh I had remembered. It wasn't the laugh that came when I felt happiness without condition. No, it was only a laugh for the realization, of the soon to come absence of pain. "I'm going to see Duncan!" I stated happily. Or as happy as I could get. I laid the picture of us on my pillow, and clutched the skull he gave me, close to my heart.

I love you, I always have, and always will, which is why I am doing this. This is the answer to my _'_why.' You.

**"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved,  
****and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it."**

* * *

**"They say, 'Time heals all wounds.'  
****If that is true, then I guess mine go deeper than pain.  
****There are no words to choose over losing you.  
****I guess I found out too late,  
****And now all I feel is heartbreak that only hurts when I breathe."**

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Alright so again I'm VERY sorry about it being SO short but I figured short and sweet would be better for this particular chapter. And this is the last chapter (I hope) but again you know how I get when I get an idea -.-' please reveiw if you have the time, it makes me feel good. :D


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